About 10 years ago, Jay Palacpac and I sat it out at the Department of Foreign Affairs lobby awaiting the release of our passports. Our band then was supposedly booked for a 2-year gig in South Korea and a passport was necessary.
It didn’t take long before we heard Jay’s full name being called out from the speakers. At the mention of his surname, I heard a few giggles which I sort of expected, but then, there it was, the clapping!
Jay nonchalantly stood up and went to claim his passport. We were out of there a few minutes later and less than impressed, I asked him if it didn’t bother him that he gets teased for his name. He shrugged, “no,” he said. “I’m used to it. I’ve been getting that all my life.”
5 years later, I was getting the same flak at a hospital in Las Pinas where I went to get my son’s CBC result. The attendant couldn’t make out the last name I was giving her and looked to her colleague for assistance. Her colleague, a male nurse repeated my last name and motioned with his hand by clapping. It was all I could do to keep myself from telling that male attendant what I think of him!
It’s true, we get teased by and by for being Palacpacs. I’ve learned to laugh along through the years. You see, I have learned, too, that marriage goes beyond the name.
I’ve got my hands full with my kids and keeping house every single day, I don’t have time to worry about our surname. Somehow, when you start a family, you naturally eliminate the unnecessary and focus on what truly matters.
Besides, there are benefits to being a Mrs. Palacpac. First off, my kids and I are received well and kindly by Jay’s friends and colleagues.
It’s easy for my husband to make friends and keep them. Favor surrounds him as a shield (Psalm 5:12).
Maybe it’s because with Jay everything is peaceful & pleasant. Many of his friends would say that they like hanging out with him because his aura is light and easy. They feel relaxed around him. And because they love him, anything about him, they love, too, or so I would assume (That includes me, hehehehehehe).
Another thing is that because he’s so talented, I feel proud to be known as the missus. I’m not just saying this because I’m his wife. Jay has earned the respect of many musicians even before we were married.
He was definitely the quietest one in our band and was not one to show off, but he got approached every so often by fellow guitarists who alternated with us in our nightly gigs.
When we did acoustic, he would always shine out without much spiels (at which he was awful, by the way) and received numerous requests to play and, yes, sing. I’ve seen him arrange songs that bring out the best in the musicians that play it, Jay is never selfish with his craft.
Because of Jay’s less confrontational ways, it’s easier to wait on God.
Now, I’m not saying that all the waiting and all the humility is EASY, I’m just saying that it’s EASIER FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME to learn how to wait for what God can do because as a wife, submitting to my husband’s leadership is something that I learn everyday.
And there were a lot of instances that his ways and wisdom had saved me from heartaches, and there were a lot of times that I realized that had I listened to him from the beginning, I would’ve spared me of a lot of pain.
Life is not always a breeze.
We’ve encountered a lot of challenges for the past 7 years, I’d be lying if I say that I have never gotten frustrated, even discouraged, but all those are tempered by the happy, bright and beautiful sons that we have been blessed with. I call that perfect chemistry!
I would echo what Charlotte said in the movie, Sex and the City that of course, I am not happy every minute of everyday but I can say that I am happy everyday (or something to that effect).
At night, when the kids have gone to sleep, and Jay and I would settle with our 3-in-1 coffee; When we would laugh our hearts out to old Friends videos or double up at the new Matt le Blanc series; When we would pray together or talk about what we have read in our bibles; When we would swoon to our favorite country music that he had downloaded on his cellphone; When we would talk about Pablo’s funny quips, or Lukas’ latest antics or Judah’s milestones; When we would dream of someday living in our own house with a yard and lanai and a big bathroom, or drool over the picture of a Kia Carens we’ve posted on our refrigerator; When we plan what to bequeath our children when we leave this life, I know exactly what Steve Carell’s line in Date Night meant: I would do this again, you know. Us, you, me, the kids, all of it. I’ll do it again. I’ll choose us.**