I gave up my good-paying online job in April of 2015. I can’t begin to explain the emotional stress I was going through then. What I can tell you right now is that I was fighting hard to focus on my priorities and chose to attend to my children, most particularly to my youngest son, who was exhibiting some delays in his development.
My decision turned out to be a bad financial call despite our move to go tiny living. I guess it’s because the kids are growing up and the expenses are also higher. I couldn’t stick to only one client and felt the pressure to take on a couple more just to help meet our needs which totally negated the purpose of why I resigned in the first place. The pay was fine but it was miserably unstable.
Correcting the mistake
One of the things about being 40 is that when things aren’t going right, you’re old enough to know not to linger in your mistake and take action to correct it.
I talked to my husband about sending out my application for full time online work and he agreed after asking me if it was really what I wanted and I said yes.
The first thing I did was email my former boss that I was going back to full time online work, and ask, more out of courtesy, if there was a position open that required my skills. I wasn’t expecting any welcome feelers as I left the company just when it was in its transitioning stage. It wasn’t exactly the best time to leave and I did.
I was also aware that a lot has changed since I left. What once was a web development company is now an up and rising marketing company.
Fortunately for me, my boss informed me of a position that just opened and asked me if I was interested in taking it. He was a bit hesitant at first as writing was not a part of it. When I left, the company opted to hire freelance writers for their writing needs and it is working very well for them.
For us, I mean, now that I’m back.
The new role
The role was to be a Virtual Assistant.
Basically, the tasks are the same as they were in my previous role as a marketing assistant, except that I no longer have to write tech articles nor do content marketing which is now on the shoulders of the company’s SEO strategist whom I think is doing things the way they should be done.
What I was going to do was to provide assistance in a variety of tasks to help them attend to theirs. For instance, data entry work for marketing so that our SEO strategist can take care of the planning, the interpretation of metrics, run campaigns and everything else he has to do.
To be perfectly honest, I’m relieved that the writing tasks are taken from me as my brain needs to reset.
Anyway, I’m still on the 5th week of my 6-week probation, but it seems to be going well. At least on my end, it looks like it is.
I have to get used to some of the new tasks and be highly organized as I receive tickets from three different people. All’s good; there are new things I’m learning about marketing as I do my tasks and Trello is fast becoming my best friend, haha!
Humbled but grateful
God knows how thankful I am that I am back where I was. The 8 months had been far from easy. I am moved by the kindness and mercy I’ve been shown by my boss. I’m overwhelmed, really, especially at how he considers my children and allows me flexible hours on days when I have to attend to them.
And my first day back seemed as if I never left.
I’ve said my proper goodbyes to my part-time clients. (I started working two days after my chat with my boss) I’m grateful to them, but I must move on..and quickly.
I realized during my 8 months of freelancing that I may have gotten my personal priorities in line, but I’ve gotten my professional priorities confused. I was saying yes to all writing opportunities I had been presented on the side, apart from my 8-hour work daily and it burned me out.
(READ: Giving up a good-paying online job)
Perhaps it was frustration. I just turned 40 and was feeling like a failure. Perhaps it was depression. My brother suddenly died under tragic circumstances and I was reeling from it. Perhaps it was pain, my heart was consumed with resentment and anger over the betrayal of a person I once valued. Perhaps it was motherhood. I wanted to be there for my children.
Or perhaps it was pride. I wanted more.
There was a lot of pride.
But I’m glad that I’m given this chance to get my act together.
And so my brief stint as a freelancer ends.
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“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6.
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom,” Proverbs 11:2.